Mandie Maurer

Most people have had the experience of feeling genuinely split in two. One part of you wants to set a boundary; another part panics at the thought of conflict. One part craves closeness; another pulls away the moment someone gets too near. That internal tug-of-war isn't a flaw in your character. IFS therapy, Internal Family Systems therapy, offers a framework for understanding exactly why that happens, and what to do about it. Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a therapeutic

A hard emotion can feel like a wave that arrives before there is time to think. One comment, one memory, one text message, one tired morning, and suddenly the body is tense, the mind is racing, and the urge to react feels urgent. DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, offers a different path. Emotion regulation skills do not ask anyone to “just calm down” or ignore pain. They help people understand what emotions are doing, lower emotional intensity, and choose responses that f

Stress often shows up in the body before the mind can explain it. A tight jaw, shallow breathing, restless hands, racing thoughts, or a heavy chest can all be signs that the nervous system is on high alert. The good news is that calming your system does not have to take an hour, cost money, or look perfect. Small actions, repeated often, can send the body a message of safety. Some techniques work in under a minute. Others help when practiced over time. This guide offers 50 ea

Jealousy in ethical non-monogamy can feel like an emergency, even when everyone is acting with care and consent. A canceled date, a new partner, a delayed text, or a shift in sexual energy can stir up fear, anger, grief, longing, or shame all at once. Internal Family Systems, often called IFS, offers a clear and compassionate way to slow that storm down. Instead of treating difficult emotions as problems to defeat, IFS helps people listen to the different “parts” of themselve

Ethical non-monogamy can bring out the best in people, but it can also press on old wounds. A partner going on a date, asking for space, or falling in love with someone else may be handled with curiosity one day and feel like abandonment the next. That does not mean ethical non-monogamy is “bad” for people with attachment trauma. It means the relationship structure asks for a high level of self-awareness, honesty, pacing, and repair. Attachment patterns shape how people seek

Maybe you just received a BPD diagnosis and the words "dialectical behavior therapy" appeared in the same breath. Now you're trying to understand what that actually means for you. Or maybe you've known about your diagnosis for a while, but you still find yourself overwhelmed by emotions, struggling in relationships, or responding in ways you later wish you hadn't. If you're wondering how DBT therapy helps BPD, it helps to picture what that work can look like in your own life:

One painful moment can make a person feel like someone they love has become unsafe, uncaring, or completely different. A kind partner can seem cruel after one late reply. A close friend can feel like an enemy after a small disappointment. A person can go from feeling “I am loved” to “I am unlovable” in minutes. This intense shift is often called splitting, and it can happen in Borderline Personality Disorder, also known as BPD. Splitting is not manipulation, weakness, or a ch

Some of the hardest moments in daily life happen in ordinary conversations. Asking for help. Saying no. Bringing up hurt feelings. Holding a boundary when someone pushes back. These moments can feel small from the outside, but inside they may bring up fear, guilt, anger, or the urge to shut down. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, often called DBT, offers practical skills for these exact situations. One core DBT skill area, interpersonal effectiveness, helps people communicate nee

A strong emotion can make a small problem feel urgent, personal, and impossible to ignore. A purely logical approach can do the opposite, turning real pain into a problem to solve while leaving the feeling untouched. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, offers a practical middle path called Wise Mind. Wise Mind is one of DBT’s most useful ideas because it gives language to something many people have felt before: the quiet sense of knowing what is right, even when emotions ar

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering about the emotional ups and downs you or someone you care about experiences, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with the intense feelings and behaviors that BPD can bring. Today, I want to walk you through some important insights about this condition, helping you understand it better and explore ways to address it with compassion and

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can feel like a storm inside your mind. Emotions swing wildly, relationships become difficult, and everyday life can seem overwhelming. If you or someone you care about is living with BPD, you know how confusing and exhausting it can be. But there is hope. Understanding the challenges and finding the right support can make a real difference. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder BPD is a mental health condition marked by intense e

Borderline Personality Disorder can make emotions feel like they arrive at full volume, without warning, and with very little space to choose what happens next. A small change in tone, a delayed text, or a moment of distance in a relationship can set off panic, anger, shame, or a desperate need to repair the connection right away. Internal Family Systems therapy, often called IFS, offers a compassionate way to understand these reactions. Instead of treating intense emotions a

A strong emotion can take over fast. One sharp comment, one stressful email, one painful memory, and the body reacts before the mind has a chance to catch up. Mindfulness skills in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, often called DBT, help create that small but powerful pause between what happens and what comes next. DBT mindfulness is not about emptying the mind or staying calm all the time. It is the practice of noticing what is happening, inside and around you, with more clarity

A hard moment can make the whole day feel unsafe. One text message, one conflict, one wave of shame, one sudden memory, and the nervous system can act as if everything is on fire. Distress tolerance, a core skill area in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, helps with those moments. It does not ask you to like pain, deny reality, or “just calm down.” It teaches you how to get through intense emotions without making the situation worse. DBT was developed by psychologist Marsha Lineha

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a core concept is that of dialectical thinking. The term dialectics originates in philosophy; but what does this term mean, and how does it relate to DBT? In DBT, dialects refers to holding two seemingly opposing ideas as both true at the same time. We are typically taught that things can either be one way or the other, black or white, they cannot be black and white—can they? Take the example of how we feel when we have a conflict or a fight w

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can have many different manifestations; it can feel very difficult to determine whether the experiences of Borderline Personality Disorder we read about are the kinds of experiences that we can find relatable. Is that me? Do I feel like that? Do I have BPD? Just looking at the criteria can be confusing - there are so many! Chronic feelings of emptiness Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness

Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT was originally developed by Marsha Linehan to help individuals struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since its origination, studies have shown DBT is effective in the treatment of most common mental health challenges. The central goal of DBT is to increase ones ability to regulate emotions, increasing peace and balance in our minds and lives. Further, in line with the commonly-experienced symptoms of Borderline Personality Disord

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is one of the most widely-used types of therapy today. It also has one of the largest bases of evidence for alleviating challenging mental health symptoms. CBT targets both our "cognitions", or thoughts, and our behaviors in order to produce changes in our emotions and moods. First, CBT encourages us to be more aware of our automatic negative thought patterns, sometimes writing them down on what's called a Thought Record. The more we can st